August 8, 2011

Another spectacular night of Clear Pong action! My apologies for the delay on the blog. We were moving servers to better serve you and it locked me out of my blog dashboard. Total bummer. But, better late than never. Here, my friends, is your August 8th tournament breakdown:

With more than 26 teams battling it out for the top spot, we had quite a few new teams coming in to the fray. Without representation from Tampa, the field was WIDE OPEN with favorites “the Dream Shatterers” and “Oprah’s Black Box” sitting with the top seeds.


Since it was Nathan’s birthday, he had to get the best of both worlds, so he played with both halves of “the Dream Shatterers.” With Paul, they created “Bad Birthday” and with Derek, the brothers Beauchesne were “Rollin’ Swollen.” 



“The Champs” returned, as usual, with some eye candy, but weren’t able to match their previous greatness. Matt, however, also teamed up with Killian in a redux of “Clutch.” Stay tuned for their results…



We even had some new ladies joining the tourney. “RamRod” came back from a few weeks back and “Power Girl & Wonder Woman” blasted on to the scene to very little pong success. However, one of them (not sure whether it was Power or Wonder) had some cute semi-heels and very short shorts. I humbly approve of that.


Clear Pong regular, Kevin, always keeps it real and even plays well every other week. This week… was one of the OTHER weeks, so he didn’t last too long in the brackets before trying his hand in the Toilet Bowl Bracket. Didn’t fare too well there, either.


For a little while, it was all about star, Eric, and his partner Ariel. They took down a few games and looked like they’d be a force when they beat “the Dream Shatterers” in a late Loser’s Bracket round. However, the beers were too much for them, resulting in the famous “LOCK UP” scenario.


I LOVE seeing ladies playing the sport (game, whatever) well, so I had to share this wonderful extension and follow through. Go ahead, appreciate it. Try not to look at her boobs. Fuck. You did. Originally, this was not an exploitation of the boob. You did that.


Here, we see a similar, yet much LESS attractive extension and follow through. This just got all National Geographic. And to your right, folks, we see the long-armed wilda-Daniel. He can make many cups and fornicate with at least one woman per mating cycle. Intriguing.


Bianca & Ernesto came back from the dead to challenge the field and fared well in the early stages, succumbing to fatigue and lack of alcohol as the tournament went on. As I say over the microphone all night, get a drink… it’ll make you play better.


It was a tough night for “Ha Ha Yeah.” David was off constantly and Killian couldn’t find the rhythm. Even as half of “Clutch,” Killian and Matt still fell short, landing in a solid third place, but just short of the prize zone. No $50 tab. No $100 cash. Only sadness.


As the tournament got more and more heated, Nathan got more and more drunk. We, of course, encourage this, seeing as it was his birthday and he was not driving himself home. 3 guys, 3 girls. I like them odds. Like I’ve been saying… bring new friends, play for free, and you’ll have a good time every Monday night. Simple stuff.


At some point, we got super-serious and it was a tight match for 3rd place rights between “Clutch” and “Oprah’s Black Box.” The pressure of multiple wins was too much for Craig and Dan to bear and they broke… allowing “Clutch” to sneak into contention for the second straight week.



Cuba, however, would have none of it, drilling cup after cup, in convincing “Ultimate Free Agent” style. He played on “Cuban Panda” with none other than, “Panda,” and with Eduardo on the superteam, “Dos Cho Chas.”


Finally, “the Dream Shatterers” woke up and started puttin’ the stank on their balls. Literally. They wiped out of the winner’s bracket, bottomed out in the Loser’s bracket and then decided to never lose again, winning straight games and reducing “Oprah’s Black Box” and “Clutch” to figurative tears. From out of the ashes came new life. It was Eduardo and Cuba versus Derek and Paul with Ed and Cube needing only one victory to seal it.

The matches began and Derek was unflappable. His comedic, drunk timing at an all time high, he belittled Cuba and Eduardo, focusing on Cuba directly, getting deep inside his head. Cuba tried to shake him off, but chants of “Dumpster Sniffer” and “Dummy” came from across the table.


Cuba was visibly rattled and I think this really had an effect on Eduardo. He was as ineffective as ever, airballing on last cup several times and missing open racks. It was shameful, really, watching an undefeated team drop the first game. Then, the second game. Then…



It was all over. Just like that.





Cuba and Eduardo had missed enough times. A drunk Derek and Paul defeated them three consecutive times.





A victory kiss from the lady…




And the rain. Well done, fellas. Well done.


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4 thoughts on “August 8, 2011

  1. I enjoyed the national geographic – esque descriptions of the players techniques. Props to the photographer for those great action shots!

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