FIRST AND FOREMOST — Clear Pong will be OFF for Labor Day. Waitiki on Wall Street is closed, so that means no Clear Pong on this coming Monday, September 2nd. Enjoy your day off from work (if you are off) and have a beer in our honor!
Without further ado… Top ‘O The Heap Part III!!!!
This is the post you’ve been waiting for. A month in the making, more pictures than ever before. More deep analysis (lies) than every before. More sweet, sweet ladies than ever before (truth). Sit back, relax, and get ready to read tha damn thang.
I always think it is important to start these with a chronicling of good times. Just good people having a damn good time at Clear Pong on Monday Nights at Waitiki on Wall Street. Yes!
We were SUPER excited to have some of our regular supporters, like THE BINKS:
Due to the nature of the Top ‘O The Heap tourney, it is a 1 on 1 showdown, Mano Y Mano, Mujere Y Mujere, etc. When we get serious, it’s f&*#ing serious, ladies and gentlemen!
A lot can happen in a tournament… and as you can see above, some people (David) are left stunned by the results. A tough loss at precisely the wrong moment, can cost you everything. Well, in this case, $100 cash money.
Each month, we have a Top ‘O The Heap Tournament on the last Monday of the month and so far, after 3 down, it is one of the most successful things we are doing throughout the year! I’m excited to announce it will continue and the benefits will keep rolling in for those that finish in the Top, also knows as “The Cream of the Crop.” I love cliches, what can I say?
As always, we start each and every match with the Rock, Paper, Scissor Showdown. The lovely Katie and Ashley were willing to let us see the deep strategy they employed. Notice Katie’s “too quick” paper display whilst Ashley still had scissors cocked first forming? That is jumping the draw and Katie suffered a defeat as a result. Ashley had that extra split second to turn a tie into a win by simply folding her ring and pinkie finger down. Well done Ashley!
Achieving a top finishing spot is no simple task at the Top ‘O The Heap Tourney. One must win many games in a row (as many as 6) while managing the distractions around them. Russel was able to employ the beautiful Kaley (spelling?) to help in his efforts.
Kaley and her normal partner Hailey, were available all night, providing appropriate distractions wherever and whenever necessary. One can only image that Morgan’s awkward leaning is what provided Hailey with her constipated/confused facial expression. I don’t know why it’s so fun to poke fun at Morgan, but it just is. The fact of the matter is, this blog will touch the hearts and lives of tens of people. I know it’s big time stuff, so I just have to let it all out. Morgan provides the opportunity for jokery and entertainment. I like to make use of those opportunities.
Local Jester and Good Time Guy, Brian Henley is never one to back down from a photo opportunity. And in this one, his pants aren’t even wet! Hurray! We always appreciate his photogenesis (either not a real word or not the correct way to use it, but you understand what I mean.)
The competition was fierce! In the picture above, we see an example of just how intimidating Vinny can be. After a dripping double tap, his roar set fear in the hearts of his opponents. Even his normal teammate Louis couldn’t take him on after beating 4 opponents in a row.
The All Grumpy-All The Time showdown between Louis and Vinny was a moot point, with Vinny’s momentum taking him all the way to the final 4!
Right on that bubble, JUST a bit outside of the final 4… we have Morgan. Previously, in our Top ‘O The Heap Part I and II, Morgan solidified 4th place, never winning the cash, or getting value out of his consistency. Against the top competition, his stroke changes, and his confidence melts. On the plus side, we can always count on a thrown hat or a kicked tree or plant!
After eliminating Morgan, Vinny took on his toughest competition of the night, the one they call Russel. He had used the Kaley tactic long enough and her obvious attractiveness was affecting Vinny’s shot. He went left, he went right, but in the end, I think he’ll always end up inside. This time, however, the inside won’t be a Clear cup, as Russel took him down with ease and Vinny was left as the apple of most women’s eyes. 4th Place for Vinny, “the Viper.”
It’s not hard to see what happened here. Right after taking “the Viper” down, Russel came against his toughest competition. Killian. Our 2-time Top ‘O The Heap Champion, he had lost the semi-final and had to work out of the loser’s bracket to move on. Russel wanted some of this type of action all night long, but he couldn’t handle the heat once he was in the kitchen. Wham, Bam, thank you Ma’am… Russel was relegated to 3rd place. Again.
What happened next will go down in Clear Pong history…
The finals came down to the same two people as last month. Both of them playing multiple games, defeating every opponent. One on one, Killian vs. Pardo. This time, however, the normal roles were reversed. Pardo was undefeated, ruler of the Winner’s Bracket, and Killian had to come from behind and take 2 games in a row, fighting his way back into the mix from the Loser’s Bracket.
To say it was back and forth would not give credit where it is due.
Killian was a shadow of himself (look at how that ball doesn’t even look on-line. It’s clearly going left (your right). In fact, it did miss, and Killian did lose. One of the very few times he has suffered defeat in one on one action.
Whether it was fatigue, or simply over-inhalation, Killian was defeated… a $50 bartab his prize for missing that final fateful shot. I’d say “well done,” but the expectations are set too high for this eventual Hall of Famer.
On this night, there could only be one…
Thin, but mighty, with nostrils that would make most Jews jealous (you know, cuz air is free and such), LADIES and GENTLEMEN, your TOP ‘O THE HEAP PART III CHAMPION IS… Pardo!